Thursday, January 13, 2011

Do As I Say...Not As You Think I Ought To

Ok, so I took some flack for my last post. Not through the comments unfortunately, but through email. The comments section is expressly for comments people! A few people wondered, "How could I point the finger at this poor misguided man when I myself am posting on the same site he found me on?"

Well gentle readers, there is one major difference in the 2 of us. I make no secret of what I do, when, where, and with whom I do it. I hide very little, much to the dismay of many people. My partner, my friends, even my coworkers are aware that my relationship is an open one. As I said to my dear hubby when we were first getting serious, "I am a slut. I was a slut before you met me, there is very little to suggest that this is going to change without a major act of Congress or a shift in the globes rotational axis."

Now people will scoff, "Well an open relationship is the same thing as cheating!" They would be mostly correct, but there is still one major difference. The lies. Cheating involves lying. In order to cheat effectively one must lie to their partner about. The deception is what makes it cheating. Now I know of many relationships that call themselves open and still lie, or simply don't mention the folks they are fooling around with on the side. For some open relationships that works. What it really comes down to is the initial agreement. I myself will not make an agreement to an open relationship that does not include full disclosure. But many consensual open relationships exist that thrive on one or both of partners not being fully cognitively aware of exactly what the other is up to, but yet are completely aware they are indeed up to it.

I will be more careful in the future when dealing with scandalous or sensitive topics to also include my motivations and prior viewpoints so as to avoid and backlash and judgmental finger-pointing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the feedback...I live for it! I just prefer it in the comments section :-)


  1. I don't think I want to touch this one with my is just one of those things we have to agree to disagree on and I will leave it at that.

  2. I appreciate the honesty and trust that you and your hubby are able to share. The relationship is between the two of you and really no one elses business. If you have an understanding, so be it.

    I have always had agreement with the love of my life (LOML from here on out) that if you want to be with someone else, please tell me and don't humiliate me by letting me find out from somewhere else. Be honest with me up front and let me deal with it. Don't lie to me. Neither of us like to be lied to and we don't keep secrets from each other.