Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The JimNotMike Annual Oscar Fashion Review

I admit it, I am a whore for the Oscar's. Heck, I didn't even see half of the movies that are up for nomination. I don't care about the movies. I want to see what everyone is wearing to the event! I want to see the streamline gowns and the fabulous train wrecks. I want to see who starved themselves and had a rib removed to fit their dress, and more importantly…who didn't!

This year, I think I'll start out with what I 'm calling…The Misses

Poor Sandra
I might take some flack for this one, but Sandra Bullock…where did your waistline go? I think I would love this dress if only it were slightly more fitted. It looks like a pudgy Morticia Addams ran into a Grecian column.

Sandra at the 2011 Oscars
How does one go from flirt to frump in the course of a year? Sandra, send me pics of your gown prospects for next year. Tod and I will help you chose.

Melissa McCarthy. Big gurls, ya know I love em!
She has looked so good at other award shows, I had very high hopes for Melissa on Oscar Night. Unfortunately, they were dashed along with the hopes of Big Gurls everywhere. There ain't no amount of sparkly dazzle that can save what I believe to be a pair of curtains she found hanging in her guest room. Scarlet O'Hara may have gotten away with it, but I am convinced Rhett was blind or at least had only one good eye.

What is with the leg?
It pains me to write this about my girl, but Angie…what has happened to you? I am seeing "Barbie goes Black" in this picture. It's the only thing that can explain to me the odd position of both her leg and her arm (It even looks like her middle 3 fingers are molded together..just like Barbie). Something tells me that she also had no idea that the cocked leg pose would go on to have such a life of it's own. The inter-webs will grab on to the craziest things.

And now they can grab onto both of them…Brad would!
Now that I am going to a cold dark hell for dissing on Angelina…let's get to my favorite looks of the night.

Ah Penelope…I love your first name!
Depending one which pics you might have seen, this dress was either gray or blue. I'm going to plant myself firmly in the middle and say it's a Bluish Gray. No matter what color it is, I think it's gorgeous! It has a great flow to it, yet it is also tight in all the right places. (Dang, I sounded like a Str8 guy there for a minute)

Ah Gwyneth…I love your first name!
I am soooo glad Gwyneth covered up her, all too muscular/boney, shoulders. In doing so, she made her look one of the sleek classics of the evening. If I had that body, I'd wear that dress too. (Gee look! The str8 guy has left the building)

Now let's talk about the Drag Queen!

Ah Glenn…I love…your dress!
For her age, Glenn Close is just amazing. I do think she removed a rib or 2 to fit into this gown. Something tells me she turned them into a corset. I tried to talk Tod into making a version of this outfit for Abigail and he said, "No way in hell and I doing that!" I don't really blame him, it's an incredibly intricate design. I really like how it was paired with a tuxedo jacket. Something only Glenn Close could pull off on the red carpet.

So that's Oscar Fashion 2012. Thanks to all of the websites I grabbed these pics from. Please don't sue me! What looks were your favorites?

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