My Two New Friends

You will find these items in practically any patient's room anywhere in the country. They are a patient's best friends.

Mr. Lung Thing & Ms. Bottomless Drink!

If you've never had an overnight stay in a Hospital, and I genuinely hope you haven't, at least one of these items might be unfamiliar to you. Mr. Lung Thing (Sorry, I have no idea what it's actually called) is a tool that helps keep your lungs strong since you typically aren't at your usual level of activity when in a hospital bed. They set a goal using the arrow slider and your job is, while slowly inhaling on the tube, is to get the plunger to that level. Now, I have perfectly healthy lungs, so my goal was set at the highest. Considering the amount I smoke, I was quite pleased that I was able to hit that mark. For people who have compromised lung function, each day or two they move the goal higher in order to slowly rehabilitate the person's lungs.

In the hospital, they are very concerned with how much you pee. I suppose it goes to show good bodily function. In order to achieve this, the cup by your bed is never empty. I drank enough Diet Ginger Ale over the course of 4 days to fill a 5 gallon bucket and peed every single drop of it back out. They gave me a handy little "urinal" to facilitate this. I had to ask for an extra cause I was filling them up so fast.

Aren't you glad I didn't provide a picture of that?

We Interrupt the Hospital Posts...

...for this breaking discovery. Every now and then at 2 o'clock in the morning I find something amazing on the internet that isn't about porn. I jest! (Hey, it's out there...what can I say?)

Last night I was checking in and catching up on the many Blogs I follow and one had a link to this hilarious You Tube video created by a British comedian named Isabel Fay. Yes, she prefers comedian to comedienne. (says so herself on her website)

Well, at this point, I have probably watched the video 20 times and I can't stop laughing. I pick up something new in the lyrics every time. I have to admit I don't know who some of the british celebrities are, although I did recognize Helen Lederer from Absolutely Fabulous.

You can also click over to Isabel's website Clever Pie to see some of her other videos. I got a huge kick out of "Total Paperclips of the Heart" and "Commemorative Commemorabilia".

Just thought I'd share a giggle what with everything else that's been going on lately. Let me know what you think of her in the comments.

Back In Chains

Tired of seeing my IV posts? Well, think about if you had to look at them for 4 days straight! Anyway, once my freedom ended it was time to switch my IV. The one on the back of my left hand was really beginning to get uncomfortable.

On a side note, I thought of something on the first day that I highly recommend to anyone who ever has to be in the hospital should consider. I designated one arm for the Deposit Arm and one arm as the Withdraw Arm, That way, one poor arm wasn't getting all of the hassle. Worked like a charm! Each arm got a little bit of abuse instead of one arm holding a grudge against me afterwards.

Anyway, back to my IV. I decided to move it to my right arm, up until now, the Withdraw Arm. I figured it was time to switch them. I had no idea how much longer I was going to be in the hospital at this point and the way I sleep, it would work better in my right hand.

This time I had the forethought to go into the bathroom and shave all the hair off of my right hand. That stuff hurts getting yanked out! My nurse, Carole said, "Do you want me to do it on the side?" I thought, "Well, Carole...I'm not sure I know you well enough for that!" But what she meant was this!

Gives "On The Side" a whole new meaning!

If you are ever conscious in a situation where you have to get an IV...DO THIS! It's amazing! Totally gets all the tubey stuff out of your way. You don't catch it on things while doing menial tasks. Most importantly you can cover it up with your ID bracelet...well, depending on what hand your ID bracelet is on. Granted, once we made this switch, I never needed another IV.

I did learn something from this other than the obvious. I knew I probably wasn't going to be getting another IV since the Heparin wasn't working. So what I originally asked Carole was if she could just remove the IV all together. Get this! If you remove the IV the insurance companies then consider that you don't need to be in the hospital anymore. Hence why we had to move it to my other hand even tho I wasn't going to be getting anymore IV's. Funky Huh?

So, what'd you learn? Get your IV "On The Side" and if there isn't an IV in your arm, you no longer need to be in the hospital. Class dismissed!

Free To Be...

The third day (sorry these are out of order, I'm writing them as I think of them, not as they happen) I got to be free. The IV tube was removed, all of the electrodes monitoring my heart function were taken off, and the blood oxygen "finger tip" all came off. I was FREE! Free to get clean!

I showered, I shaved, I did a little dance, made a little love, got down...I digress. Anyway, even using the hospitals ultra harsh, but yet "baby" gentle toiletries felt wonderful. After my "spa day", I redressed in my gown lay down on the freshly made bed to enjoy my freedom for a few more minutes.

Look Ma! No tubes or wires! Just the IV "space station"

It was quite liberating after 2 days of constantly having something attached to you that you had to watch out for. I kind of equate it to having small children that never go to sleep!

Tethered

When in the hospital, you are almost always hooked up to something. Here is my constant companion for the past 3 days.

Hello Heparin Drip!

Heparin is supposed to clear up a blood clot and help thin your blood. It did neither for me. Three bags down my "Hatch", so to speak, and my blood was no thinner nor any less clot-ier than it was when I walked in the door on Monday.

Oh well, not all drugs work the same on all people.

Rumors of My Demise...

Have been greatly exaggerated. But I am in the Hosptial, so it could happen any moment now. So PANIC!

Looks like a little space station landed on my hand

Hopefully that can explain the lack of posts lately. But don't worry. I 'm going to be laid up for a while with absolutely nothing to do but post...exciting!

So keep an eye out about everything I have to say about the Hospital system. Don't worry...some of it is really good!

The First Official Mojito of the Season

People like Memorial Day for a lot of reasons. For some, it's about those who gave their lives for this wonderful country we live in. Others consider it the official opening of the pool/beach season. For me, it means that it's Mojito Time! Yeah, lush here...get over it! So, here it is. the first official Mojito of the season.

3 words...Re-Fresh-Ing!

I say it's "Official" because it took place on Memorial Day. I had made 5 others at Ashlun's Housewarming Party on Saturday, but it wasn't Memorial Day yet, so those were unofficial.

In the photo above you can also see the 3 different types of mint I used in it's concoction. The Hubby, bless his heart, has also gotten me 2 other mint varieties to play with, but they aren't ready yet. You can click the link to find my Official Mojito Recipe.

Let me know if you try it in the comments.