Prison Reform

A few weeks ago, before I was admitted to the hospital, I hosted a retirement party for my buddy Dave. His wife Emily asked me to provide my "space" in order to properly house the larger party. We went with a prison theme, since Dave had been a prison guard. I designed the invitations using a vintage "Get Out of Jail Free" card from my Mom's Monopoly Set.

Then we had to figure out the menu. I wanted it to have hints to the food that is served in prison. Off to Google I went and with Emily's help, I discovered Meal Loaf. It is this horrid concoction that is served to prisoners that have misbehaved. Typically it is vegetarian, but some institutions add ground beef to it. So you take beans, spinach, cut-up bread, potato flakes and few other ingredients and you make them into a loaf. You bake it and serve it up to the miscreants. The challenge for me tho, was to make it appetizing. I basically followed the recipe I had found online, but I used all fresh ingredients and topped it with cheese. I also provided a gravy to dip it in.

Ok, so I really only wound up throwing half of it out.

All in all, it wasn't too bad. I found if you dipped it and slowly chewed it, letting all the flavors come out, it was actually palatable. Some people had a problem with the raisins in it. I assume they are in the recipe to be "dessert".

I also made a big pot of Chili Mac. Apparently, they serve this often in the prison environment. I can see why, it was sooooo easy to make. Couple cans of chili, some pasta and cheese in a crock pot...done!

Simple is as simple does

What is funny is that as I was opening and dumping the cans of chili into the crock pot, I couldn't help but notice how much canned chili looks and smells like canned dog food...even sounds like it plopping out of the can.

Emily made a big ol pot of Franks & Beans, another prison staple due to it's ease. One giant can of baked beans and 2 packs of hotdogs cut up.

Beans, beans, their good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you...

I stayed away from the beans. The last thing I needed was the gas. But I did eat some of the hotdogs. After cooking in the bean juice, they were delicious. Maybe eating in prison isn't so bad as long as you stay way from the Meal Loaf.

Emily also made a cake, building on the "Get Out of Jail Free" theme. She's actually quite a good decorator of cakes. I will need to keep this in mind for future parties.

So cute! What is black icing made of???

She did a great job with the art from the Monopoly card. I am told the cake was great. I didn't try it cause well...SUGAR!

So, if you ever find yourself in prison, now you have a bit of preview of what to expect in the chow line. Oh, and remember...don't drop the soap!